Slay.me » Arab Jokes

The Mother of All Ethnic Jokes

jokes — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 14:51:13 +0000

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian) an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani,an Amish, a Romanian, a Chilean, an Eskimo, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino,
a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans

walk into a fine restaurant….

The maître d’ scrutinizes the group one by one and bars their entrance saying:

“Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”

The Thirsty Taliban & The Jewish Merchant

jokes — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 14:00:34 +0000

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.

The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”

The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?

They are only $5.”

The Taliban shouted, “Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!”

“OK,” said the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”

Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead and said,

“Your brother won’t let me in without a tie!”

Ghost Sex

jokes — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:00:02 +0000

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’

About 90 students raise their hands.

Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’

About 40 students raise their hands.

That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’

About 15 students raise their hand.

Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’

Three students raise their hands.

That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’

Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, ‘So, Ahmed, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?’

Ahmed replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”

Solving the Isreal Arab War with a Dog Fight

jokes — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 14:00:09 +0000

The Israelis and Arabs realized that if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world, so they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: A duel of two, like
David and Goliath. This would be a dog fight. The negotiators agreed each side would take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could.

The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world.

They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other
puppies.. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine.

After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty, ferocious beast.

When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up with a very strange animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long!!

Everyone at the dog-fight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against the growling beast over in the Arab camp. The
bookies all took one look and predicted the Arab dog would win in less than a minute.

The cages were opened. The Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of the ring.

The Arab dog leaped from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Arab killer-dog’s tail floating to the ground.

The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise.

The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. “We do not understand,” said their leader, “our top scientists and breeders worked for 5 years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans, Rottweillers and Siberian wolves. They developed an incredible killing machine of a dog”.

The Israeli General replied. “Well, for 5 years we have had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills, California, working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”