160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing TERRORISTS !!

Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for state and city Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes..

Nice. Real nice

Occupy Wall Street Jokes:

Q: Out of money, an OWS protester uses an ATM and it asks if he will accept a $1 fee. He knows the money will just go to a greedy, corrupt bank. Does he hit “Yes”?
A: Sure, it’s his parents’ card anyway.

Q: What is the least heard question at Occupy Wall Street?
A: Can I borrow your soap”

Over the weekend in New York, two Occupy Wall Street protesters got married at the protest. They are registered at Bed, Bath, and Seriously, You Need to Take a Bath.
A weary OWS protester returns to college.
Roommate: “How are you?”
Protester: “Not so great. I have body lice, the flu, and a screaming case of gonorrhea.”
Roommate: “You caught the flu?”

Q: What’s the difference between Barack Obama’s nebulous whatever-you-want-it-to-mean 2008 campaign and OWS?
A: Three years.

Q: What’s the difference between intentionally provoking a caged bear in a zoo and intentionally provoking a tired cop in Manhattan?
A: Bearbaiting is illegal.

Q: What’s the difference between Rick Perry and the aimlessness of OWS?
A: Rick Perry is debatable.

Q: What’s the difference between the NBA and OWS?
A: People are waiting for one to come back and for the other to go away.

Q: What’s the difference between soccer and OWS?
A: Goals.

Q: What do the OWSers stand for?
A: They’re pro-lice.

Q: What’s the difference between a puppy and a occupy wall street protester?
A: Eventually the puppy stops whining.

A woman runs up to a cop and says, “Help me, I was just raped by an OWS protester.”
Cop says, “How do you know he was an OWS protester.”
Woman says, “I had to help.

Top 10 Occupy Wall Street Cartoons:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change……I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes.  When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: “Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”

The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock, so he takes the bet.

“973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.

The shepherd says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” The man picks one up and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” The man says sure.

“You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd.

“Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

Jewish women are marrying for love.

Even people who had nothing to do with the Obama administration aren’t paying their taxes.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE, Pfizer, and Citigroup.

McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

The most highly paid job now is jury duty.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

People in Africa are donating money to Americans.

Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, “Finish  your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US ?”

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

And finally…

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Hey, neat! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear!