Results for ‘Jerusalem’
07
Apr

Donald Trump Dies in the Holy Land

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.

While on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.

The undertaker tells theAmerican diplomats accompanying him,

“You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here,
in the Holy Land, for just $100.”

The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss it for a few minutes.

They return and tell him they want Donald Trump shipped home.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump gestures and declares “You’re fired!” at a rally in Manchester, New Hampshire, June 17, 2015. REUTERS/Dominick Reuter TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY – RTX1GZCO

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, “Why would you spend $50,000 to
ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you
would spend only $100?”

The American diplomats reply, “Long ago a man died here, was buried
here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We can’t take that chance.

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02
Dec

The Parking Space

Moishe is driving in Jerusalem. He’s late for a meeting, he’s looking for a parking place, and can’t find one.

In desperation, he turns towards heaven and says: “Lord, if you find me a parking place, I promise that I’ll eat only kosher, respect Shabbos, and all the holidays.”

Miraculously, a place opens up just in front of him. He turns his face up to heaven and says, “Never mind, I just found one!”

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