Slay.me

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation..  Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different.   The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii .  I did what you said and Earlene got pregnant.  Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas , and Earlene got pregnant again.  Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.”

Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna’ do this year that’s different?”

Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earlene with me.”

A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.

The doctor says, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”

She says, “Well, the first 100% you can imagine.

In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!”

On the  morning of Rosh Hashanah as the congregation was filing into the Synagogue, Rabbi Liebenberg noticed little Max standing in the foyer of the Synagogue staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the rabbi walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, ‘Boker Tov, Max.  ‘Boker Tov, Rabbi Liebenberg,’ he replied,  still focused on the plaque. ‘ Rabbi Liebenberg, what is this?’ he said, pointing to the plaque.

The good Rabbi tenderly put his arm around Max’s shoulder and said, ‘ Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Finally, little Max, in a voice barely audible and trembling with fear asked:

‘Which service, Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur?’