Archive for the ‘Poker Jokes’ Category

12
Mar

Slay.me Joke of the DaySix retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo Clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and Drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, But standing up..

At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks, “So, who’s gonna Tell his Vife?”

They cut the cards.. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news.

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any Worse.

“Discreet?  I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet.  Discretion is my Middle Name.  Leave it to me.”

Goldberg goes over to the Meyer’s condo and knocks on the door.

The wife Answers through the door and asks what he wants?

Goldberg declares: “Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is Afraid to come home.”

“Tell him to drop dead!” yells the wife.

“I’ll go tell him.” says Goldberg.*

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07
Nov

Slay.me Joke of the DayTwo couples were playing cards.  John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.  When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife wasn’t wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.  Bill’s wife followed him and asked, “Did you see anything that you liked under there?”

John admitted that, well, yes, he did.

She said, “You can have it, but it will cost you $100.”

After a minute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn’t, John should come to her house around 2:00 pm on Friday.

Friday came and John went to her house at 2:00 pm.  After paying her $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex and then John left.  Bill came home about 6:00 pm.  He asked his wife, “Did John come by this afternoon?”

Reluctantly, she replied, “Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.”

Next Bill asked, “Did John give you $100?”

She thinks, “Oh hell, he knows!” Finally she says, “Well, yes… he did give me $100.”

“Good,” Bill says.  “John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me.  He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back.”

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