Slay.me

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

‘Mom’, he asked, ‘Are these my brains?’

‘Not yet,’ she replied.

A man goes  into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very  attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take  all of his clothes off.

When he is fully undressed she  instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then  takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with  him.

Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath  and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that  studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an  ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for  the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer,  more efficient and quicker.

The nurse then  wheels the patient  to the operating room.

While they are going down the hall the  patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room  masturbating.

Curious, the  man asks,” What are they doing in there”?

The nurse responds,  “They’re preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross, and  they have Obama Care.”

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.  One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him.  She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.  When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ‘Edna, I have good news and bad news.  The good news is you’re  being discharged,since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.  I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

‘The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.  I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’ Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself.

I put him there to dry….  How soon can I go home?’