Archive for the ‘George Burns Jokes’ Category


Go George Go! Joke of the DayWhen George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah  Winfrey. Oprah asked,’ Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.’

Mr. Burns said, ‘I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.’

Oprah said, ‘I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your age.’

George said, ‘Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it.’

Oprah said, ‘I have never been with an older man, would you do it with me?’

So they had sex and when they finished Oprah said, ‘I just don’t believe I have ever been so satisfied, you are a remarka ble man.’

George said, ‘The second time is even better than the first tim”

Oprah said, ‘You can really do it again at your age?’

George said, ‘Just let me sleep for 1/2 hour. You hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in thirty minutes.’

When she woke him up, they again had great sex, and Oprah was beside herself with joy. She said, ‘Oh Mr. Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat performance and have it be better than the first time.. At your age, Oh My, Oh My!!!’

George said That the third time would be even better. ‘You just hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and call me in thirty minutes.’

Oprah said, ‘Does me holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?’

George said, ‘No, but the last time I had sex with a black woman she stole my wallet!’

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