Archive for the ‘Baby Jokes’ Category

26
Mar

Joke of the DayA mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.

The little boy had been looking out of the window with a contemplative look, when he turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother couldn’t think of an immediate response, so she told her son to ask the flight attendant.

As his mother suggested, the boy strode down the aisle to the flight attendant and inquired, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The busy flight attendant looked at the boy, smiled, and asked, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”   The boy replied, “Yes, she did.”

“Well,” said the flight attendant, “You tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you.”

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26
Nov

Joke of the DayA Redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.

Upon arriving, he was asked to sit down as the nurse told him,

“Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets five big baby boys.”

The Redneck said, “I’m not surprised, I have a penis the size of a fucking chimney.”

The nurse replied, “You might want to consider getting it cleaned.  They’re all black.”

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28
Sep

Murphy’s old lady had been  pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

He brought her to the  doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. ‘Hey,  Murph! You just had you a son,!

‘Ain’t dat grand, !!’ Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor  spoke up and said, ‘Hold on! We ain’t  finished  yet, !’

The doctor then delivered a little girl.

He said, ‘Hey, Murph! You got you a  daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too….’

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, ‘Hold on, we  aint got done yet, !’

The doctor then delivered another boy and said,  Murph, you just had  yourself another boy, !’

Murphy said to the doctor, ‘Doc, what caused all of dem  babies,?’

The doctor said, ‘You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during  conception.’

Murphy said, ‘Ah yeah, during conception.’

When Murph and his wife went home with their three  children, he sat down with his wife and said,

‘Mama, you remember dat night  that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.’

She said, ‘Yeah, I  remember dat night…’

Murph said, ‘I’ll tell you, ……it’s a  f”” kin’ good ting we didn’t use WD-40.

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