Archive for the ‘Queen Elizaebeth’ Category

25
Aug

Slay.me Joke of the DayGeorge Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.  While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes.  When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: “Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”

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08
Dec

Slay.me Joke of the DayGeorge Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes.

When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth call England and talks for 30 minutes.

When she was finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours.

When he was finished the devil informed him that there would be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free.

The devil replied, “Since Obama became president of the USA, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”

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22
Oct

Slay.me Joke of the DayQueen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go  before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there is only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them  gets in.

The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular  reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and  says, ‘Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity’.

The Angel thanks Dolly,and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever.

The Angel  says, ‘OK, your Majesty, you may go in’.

Dolly is outraged and asks,’What was that all about? I show you two  of God’s own perfect creations and you turn me down.  She spits into a commode and she gets in!Would you explain that to me?’

‘Sorry, Dolly,’ says the Angel, ‘but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair – no matter how big they are.”

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