Archive for the ‘Nudist Jokes’ Category

02
Jul

There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning.  When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”

Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.  When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!

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20
Jan

A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City. The taxi driver, who happened to be an old Jewish man, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.

She said to him, “What’s wrong with you honey? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

The old man said “Lady, I’m not staring at you, I am telling you, det vould not be proper vair I come from”.

She said, “Well, if you’re not staring at my boobs sweetie, what are you doing then?”

He said, “Vell, I am looking and I’m looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?”

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07
Feb

Slay.me Joke of the DayA husband walks into Victoria’s Secret Store to purchase a negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price — the more sheer, the higher the price.

Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she’s no dummy), ‘I have an idea, it’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing.

I won’t put it on, but I’ll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refunded for myself.

‘ She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose and another, then another…..

The husband says, ‘Good Grief! “You’d think for $500, they’d at least iron it!’

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon.

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