Archive for the ‘Nurse Jokes’ Category

18
Jan

After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Navy fighter pilot finally regained consciousness.

He was in a hospital, in a lot of pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him, looking worried.

It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.

The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes.

Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Sailor, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word: “You may not feel anything from the waist down.”

Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, “Can I feel your tits, then?”

And that, my friends, is a real positive attitude.

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08
Jul

NurseA policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed Appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his groin area. Worried that it might be a second surgery that the doctors hadn’t told him about it, he finally got enough courage to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

It didn’t take long to discover the cause for his discomfort. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily – – – if at all.

Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, “Get well soon from the nurse in the 2013 Ford Explorer you pulled over last week.”

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