jokes's page

01
Nov

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.  The man, who was a Priest, said, “I am a Father.”

The little boy replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that.”

The priest looked up from his book and answered, ”I am the Father of many.”

The boy said, ”My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way!”

The priest, getting impatient, said.  “I am the Father of hundreds,” and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, “Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.”

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31
Oct

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man Walking with his legs spread apart. 

He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student said to his friend: 

“I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.”

The other student says: 

“No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class.”

Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him And one of the students said to him, 

“We’re medical students and couldn’t help But notice the way you walk, but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?”

The old man said, 

“I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.” 

The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.”

The old man said, “You thought – but you are wrong.”


The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.”

The old man said, “You thought – but you are wrong.”


So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?”

The old man said, ” Well, I thought it was GAS – but I was wrong, too!”

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30
Oct

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin.

Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.

He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

‘My darring,’ he whispers, ‘I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten.  I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting – juss anyting you want.  You juss ask.  Whatchu want?’ he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, ‘I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls…  Numbaa 69.’ More thoughtful silence from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her…

‘You want…….  garlic chicken wif snow peas?’

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