jokes's page

17
Oct

40 Years of Marriage

A couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. 

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married  couple and for being loving to each other for
all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’ 

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this may never come again. I’m
sorry, honey, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’ 

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish!

So the fairy waved her magic wand and….poof!

The husband became 92 years old.

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31
Aug

The Frog and the Bank Manager Joke

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”

(You’re gonna love this.)

The bank manager looks back at her and says, “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

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20
May

Which came first? Chicken or Egg?