Archive for the ‘Bar Jokes’ Category

07
Feb

The Homeless Man’s Drinking, Sex and Golf Joke

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

“Will you spend it on a hooker.”

Are you crazy, gave it up years ago. Look at me, no one would have sex with me.”

“Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded.

“Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?

The man replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, sex andĀ golf.”

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14
Apr

The Bear and the Bar Bitch

confused-bearA bear goes into a bar, he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him. he then calmly orders a beer.

The bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve drug users in here”.

“but I don’t do drugs”

“what about that barbitchyouate”

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13
Apr

The Successful Son at the Gay Bar

Joke of the DayFour lady friends meet up for a reunion.

One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.

No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a ferrari.

No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.

No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he build his best friend a castle.

No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.

They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son.

She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.

The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son for not becoming successful.

” Oh no !! ” said the Lady, he is doing good. ”

Last week on his birthday he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends…” .

All the 3 Ladies fainted ….

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