Posts Tagged ‘husband’
25
Dec

Christmas Shopping Joke

A Husband went Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell.

The wife said ” Where are you, you know we have lots to do.”

He said “You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?”

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…

“Yes, I do remember that shop.” she replied.

“Well I am in the golf shop next door to that.”

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23
Feb

Slay.me Joke of the DayOn their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on.

She went to her husband, a retired MARINE and asked, “Honey, do you remember this?”

He looked up from his newspaper and said “Yes dear, I  do.

You wore that same negligee the night we were married.”

She said, “Yes, that’s right.  Do you remember what you said to me that night?”

He nodded and said “Yes dear, I said, Oh baby, I’m going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.”

She giggled and said “That’s exactly what you said. So now it’s fifty years later,  and I’m  in the same negligee.

What do you have to say tonight?”

He looked her up and down and said, ” Mission Accomplished.”

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07
Feb

Slay.me Joke of the DayA husband walks into Victoria’s Secret Store to purchase a negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price — the more sheer, the higher the price.

Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she’s no dummy), ‘I have an idea, it’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing.

I won’t put it on, but I’ll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refunded for myself.

‘ She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose and another, then another…..

The husband says, ‘Good Grief! “You’d think for $500, they’d at least iron it!’

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon.

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