Archive for the ‘Over the Hill Jokes’ Category

08
Sep

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Roger, Again he is ready for more ‘action’. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ‘I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.

You are truly a great lover, Roger.’

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: ‘You mean I was here already?’

The moral of the story:
Don’t be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer’s has its advantages.

06
Sep

Here are the texting codes for the older generation:

ATD – at the doctor.
BFF – best friend fell.
BTW -bring the wheelchair .
BYOT – bring your own teeth.
FWIW – forgot where I was.
GGPBL – gotta go, pacemaker battery low.
GHA – got heartburn again.
IMHO – is my hearing aid on?
LMDO -laughing my dentures out.
OMMR – on my massage recliner.
WIWYA – when I was your age.
ROFLACGU – rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up.

27
Jan

Slay.me Joke of the DayA Pennsylvania senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph down I-81, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down the highway, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Pennsylvania State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding–a reason I’ve never before heard–I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused then said: “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Pennsylvania State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.

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