Archive for the ‘Retirement Jokes’ Category

21
Oct

Today, a friend of mine’s wife said to him, “Honey, get off your ass and fix that gutter downspout!

And, I want it done before the end of the day!”

Well, as you all know, at my age, my  friend, and most our age, are retired and do have the time to address such “Honey do’s”..

So, he invited some of us neighborhood buddies over to help with the project. One is a sheet metal  fabricator. One brought his welder. One brought beer and Nachos. One brought a grill and burgers. Took us about 4-6 hours, and  30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we finished off the last of the burgers.

As usual, the wife is still not happy! Can’t understand, cause all us guys love it!

Personally, I can’t wait for it to rain !

Downspout

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09
Mar

Joke of the DayFour old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar – ALL drinks 10 cents.”

They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on in and let me pour one for you!

What’ll it be, gentlemen?”

There’s a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.

In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, “That’s 10 cents each, please.”

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying,”That’s 40 cents, please.”

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They’ve each had two martinis and haven’t even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

“I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix ,” the bartender says, “and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it’s all the same.”

“Wow! That’s some story!” one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can’t help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don’t have any drinks in front of them and haven’t ordered anything the whole time they’ve been there.

Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, “What’s with them?”

The bartender says, “They’re retired people from Florida. They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price, plus they all have coupons.”

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04
Mar

Here is a funny video of a traffic jam prank with elderly people.

 

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