Posts Tagged ‘farting’
16
Nov

The Musical Farter

Slay.me Joke of the DayI was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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05
Nov

The Traveling Salesman and the Wet Fart

Slay.me Joke of the DayA traveling salesman was out in the country one evening and wasn’t sure how to get back to the main highway. He came upon a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.

“Sure,” said the farmer. “I’ve got some beans and cornbread on the stove, but I’ve only got one bed, so you’ll have to sleep with me.”

The salesman was very grateful. So they had dinner and went to bed early. The salesman was used to keeping late hours and couldn’t get to sleep. His tossing and turning was keeping the farmer awake so the farmer finally suggested they play football. The salesman didn’t understand.

“Here’s how it works,” said the farmer. “Everytime you fart, it’s a touchdown.” The salesman thought it sounded fun, and they started playing. The salesman took an immediate lead, with the farmer struggling to squeeze even one out. Finally he felt one coming on and he strained and grunted and strained and grunted…and let a big wet one rip all over his side of the bed.

“What’ll we do now?” exclaimed the salesman.

“Halftime. Switch sides.”

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19
Aug

The Silent Fart

Slay.me Joke of the DayAn elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through, she leaned over and whispered To her husband, ‘I just let out a long silent fart. What Do you think I should do?’

He replied, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’

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