17
Aug

Slay.me Joke of the DayAn elderly man in Florida owned a large farm. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and lime trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

He frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Some old men can still think fast.

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17
Jul

Funny LeprechaunThe mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law  Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

“What  happened Paddy ?” she asks anxiously.

“What happened!! I’ll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife  (your daughter) telling her I was coming home today from my fishing  trip. I get home . . . and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife  Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable,  the end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”

“Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!” says his mother-in-law. “There  is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a  thing! There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

“Paddy. I told you there must be a simple explanation ….

She never got your E-mail!”

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