Archive for the ‘Polish Jokes’ Category

10
Mar

A customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?”

The clerk asks, “Are you Polish?”

The guy, clearly offended, says, “Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage , would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

“Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”

The clerk says, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”

The guy says, “Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I’m Polish?”

The clerk replied, “Because you’re in Home Depot.”

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02
Sep

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian) an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a  Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani,an Amish, a Romanian, a Chilean, an Eskimo, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino,
a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans

walk into a fine restaurant….

The maître d’ scrutinizes the group one by one and bars their entrance saying:

“Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”

06
Jul

Slay.me Joke of the DayThese two Polish hunters are out in the woods. They are lucky enough to bag a moose–a really big buck with a nice spread of antlers.

Flushed with satisfaction and eager to get their trophy home, they proceed to grab hold of the moose’s tail and start pulling the carcass out of the woods. They pull and pull and pull but it won’t budge.

Finally a fellow hunter comes by and says, “Excuse me for offering some advice–but you might find it easier to haul that thing by the horns.” The two Polish hunters are ecstatic to hear this! Thanking the visitor heartily, they each grab an antler and start pulling.

A few hours later the fellow hunter passes by again and sees the two tired Polish hunters still at it, slowly but steadily pulling their moose by its horns through the woods.

“How’s it going?” he asks.

“Great!” they reply. “We only have one problem: we are getting farther and farther away from our car.