Archive for the ‘Sick Perverted Jokes’ Category

13
Apr

Joke of the DayFour lady friends meet up for a reunion.

One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.

No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a ferrari.

No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.

No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he build his best friend a castle.

No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.

They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son.

She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.

The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son for not becoming successful.

” Oh no !! ” said the Lady, he is doing good. ”

Last week on his birthday he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends…” .

All the 3 Ladies fainted ….

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01
Apr

Joke of the DayAn 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his prostrate examination.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like this — first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.

Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

‘Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.

She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

‘We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’

The doctor was shocked!

‘You asked your neighbor?’

The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.’

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08
Jul

NurseA policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed Appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his groin area. Worried that it might be a second surgery that the doctors hadn’t told him about it, he finally got enough courage to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

It didn’t take long to discover the cause for his discomfort. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily – – – if at all.

Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, “Get well soon from the nurse in the 2013 Ford Explorer you pulled over last week.”

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