Archive for the ‘Sick Perverted Jokes’ Category

Aug Joke of the DayA Newfoundlander was walking home late at night and spots a woman in the Shadows.

“Twenty dollars” she whispers.

Perry had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.

They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is a police officer.

“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.

“I’s makin’ love to me wife!”, the Newfoundlander answers, annoyed.

“Oh! I’m sorry”, says the cop. “I didn’t know.”

“Well, neidder did I, ’til ya shined that light in ‘er face!”

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Jun Joke of the DayRing, Ring…  Hello?”

Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.

After a brief pause,

Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”

“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”

Brief pause

“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.  Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy,that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.

“Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.”

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

“I did it, Daddy.”

“And what happened, honey?” He asked.

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and  ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh my God!!!  What about your Uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.  He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.  But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water
last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.”

Long Pause

Longer Pause

Even Longer Pause

Then Daddy says,

“Swimming pool? …………

is this “486-5731?”

No, I think you have the wrong number…….


Joke of the DayFour lady friends meet up for a reunion.

One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.

No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a ferrari.

No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.

No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he build his best friend a castle.

No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.

They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son.

She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.

The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son for not becoming successful.

” Oh no !! ” said the Lady, he is doing good. ”

Last week on his birthday he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends…” .

All the 3 Ladies fainted ….

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