Archive for the ‘Halloween Joke’ Category


Halloween Coffin Joke

pumpkin pieA Scary Halloween Tale:

A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:




Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP . . .


BUMP . . .

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER . . .

FASTER . . .

BUMP . . .


BUMP . . .

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,  opens the door,  rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.

clappity – BUMP . . .

clappity – BUMPITY . . .

clappity – BUMP . . .

on his heels, as the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in.

His heart is pounding;

his head is reeling;

his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something,


but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

In desperation, he throws the cough syrup at the casket . .



(hopefully you’re ready for this!!!)

The coffin STOPS!

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Costume Party Mixup Joke of the DayA couple was invited to a swanky costume party.  The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his   current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished ,naturally, since he was her husband.

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.

So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.  He said: “Oh, the same old thing.  You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.”

“Did you dance much ?”

“I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you’re not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to….”

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