Posts Tagged ‘sex’
16
May

Slay.me Joke of the DayA Japanese couple is having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex :

Husband : Sukitaki.

Wife replies : Kowanini !

Husband says : Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo !

Wife on her knees literally begging : Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji !

Husband replies angrily : Na miaou kina Tim kouji !

I can’t believe you just sat and tried to read this . As if you understand Japanese !

Unbelievable !

I knew you would read anything as long as it is about sex.  You need help !!

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29
May

Slay.me Joke of the DayAt  the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was  planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a  hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so  popular.

Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota , stands up and proclaims, “If the  rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with  a Honda mini-van to transport their children!” The congregation sighs in  appreciation and applauds.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and  lawyer, stands and says, “If the rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double  his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for  his children!”

More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle  Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, “If the rabbi stays, I will  give him sex!”  There is total silence.

The rabbi, blushing,  asks her: “Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you  to say that?”

Estelle’s 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to  hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from  side to side, while his wife replies:

“Well, I just asked my  husband how we could help, and he said, “Screw  him”.

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23
May

irish pub jokeJohn O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife !”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of The night.”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. “Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

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