A Japanese couple is having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex :
Husband : Sukitaki.
Wife replies : Kowanini !
Husband says : Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo !
Wife on her knees literally begging : Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji !
Husband replies angrily : Na miaou kina Tim kouji !
I can’t believe you just sat and tried to read this . As if you understand Japanese !
Unbelievable !
I knew you would read anything as long as it is about sex. You need help !!
At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.
Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota , stands up and proclaims, “If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!” The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, “If the rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!”
More sighs and loud applause.
Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, “If the rabbi stays, I will give him sex!” There is total silence.
The rabbi, blushing, asks her: “Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?”
Estelle’s 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
“Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, “Screw him”.
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife !”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of The night.”
She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. “Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.