Posts Tagged ‘redneck’
02
Jul

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semi-finalists:
a) a Yale graduate
b) a Redneck

Joke of the DayThey were given a single word, then allowed two minutes to come up with a poem containing that word. The word they were given was “TIMBUKTU”.
The Yale graduate stepped up the microphone and said:

“SLOWLY ACROSS THE DESERT SAND TREKKED A LONELY CARAVAN.
MEN ON CAMELS – TWO BY TWO
DESTINATION – TIMBUKTU”.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the Redneck top that, they thought.

The Redneck calmly made his way to the microphone, and recited:

“ME AND TIM A HUNTIN’ WENT,
MET THREE WHORES IN A POP-UP TENT.
DEY WAS THREE, AND WE WAS TWO
SO I BUCKED ONE, AND TIMBUKTU

The Redneck won hands down

, , , ,

26
Nov

Joke of the DayA Redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.

Upon arriving, he was asked to sit down as the nurse told him,

“Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets five big baby boys.”

The Redneck said, “I’m not surprised, I have a penis the size of a fucking chimney.”

The nurse replied, “You might want to consider getting it cleaned. ¬†They’re all black.”

, , , , , , , , ,

12
Apr

Cletus won the grand prize at the carnival in Collierville, Tennessee.

It was a brand new bass fishing boat.

He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says,

“What you gonna do with that. There ain’t no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here.”

He says, “I won it and I’m a-gonna keep it.”

His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.

She says, “He’s out there in his bass boat”, pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother in the middle of a big field sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand.

He yells out to him, “What are you doin’?”

His brother replies, “I’m fishin’. What does it look like I’m a doin’?”

His brother yells, “It’s people like you that give people from Tennessee a bad name, makin’ everybody think we’re stupid. If I could swim, I’d come out there and whip your ass!”

, , ,