Slay.me

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.

While on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.

The undertaker tells theAmerican diplomats accompanying him,

“You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here,
in the Holy Land, for just $100.”

The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss it for a few minutes.

They return and tell him they want Donald Trump shipped home.

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, “Why would you spend $50,000 to
ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you
would spend only $100?”

The American diplomats reply, “Long ago a man died here, was buried
here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We can’t take that chance.

Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, “Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in.”

God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?”

He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, “I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen”.
God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Obama , and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Hillary and says, “What do you believe?”
Hillary says, “I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Obama I believe in hard work. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I’ve always tried to be a true patriot and a loyal American.”

God is greatly moved by Hillary’s high-pitched eloquence, and he offers her a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Trump and says, “And you, Donald, what do you believe?”

Trump replies,  “I believe you’re in my seat.”