Posts Tagged ‘wife’
25
Dec

Christmas Shopping Joke

A Husband went Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell.

The wife said ” Where are you, you know we have lots to do.”

He said “You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?”

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…

“Yes, I do remember that shop.” she replied.

“Well I am in the golf shop next door to that.”

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17
Dec

Surprising Your Wife with a Dinner Guest

jokeoftheday-santaA man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced.

His wife screams at him as his friend listens in.

“My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and there’s no f–king way I’m cooking tonight!
What the hell did you bring him home for?”

“Because he’s thinking about getting married.”

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11
Jul

The Golfer and the Dentist

A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.

The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:30 already… I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!’

The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.” So the dentist asks him, “Which tooth is it sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth Honey, and show him……..”

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