Archive for the ‘Coronavirus Jokes’ Category

30
Mar

“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

“Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:

“Are – my – test -results-back?

, , ,

23
Mar

Coronavirus Reactions

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to the recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, that level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”

The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the Blitz of 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

The virus has been recategorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued “A Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s Get the Bastard.” They don’t have any other threat levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British Army for the last 300 years.