Archive for the ‘Holiday Jokes’ Category

08
Dec

Three  men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at  the pearly gates.

“In honor of this holy season”  Saint Peter said,  “You must each possess something  that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”

The  first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a  lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he  said.

“You may pass through the pearly  gates” Saint Peter said.

The  second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of  keys.  He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”

Saint Peter said “You may pass through the pearly gates”.

The third man started searching  desperately through his pockets and finally pulled  out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter looked at  the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”

The man  replied, “These are Carol’s.”

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23
Sep

Joke of the DayOne Shabbat morning, Rabbi Levy noticed seven-year-old David staring up at the large plaque hanging in the shul lobby. It was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. David had been staring at the plaque for some time, so Rabbi Levy walked over to him and said quietly, “Shabbat shalom, David.”

“Shabbat shalom, Rabbi,” replied David, still intent on the plaque. “Rabbi, what is this?”

“Well, David, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Then little David, in a barely audible whisper, asked, “Which service, Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur?”

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14
Oct

why does santa have 3 gardens?

so he can ho ho ho

By: Kelly

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