Short TXT Jokes

The following are some short jokes that are good for SMS Texting and Twitter.



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Stewardess: “Sorry for the delay. There was an engine noise the pilot didn’t like. We have a new pilot and will be taking off immediately.”

I saw a busker playing “Dancing Queen” on a didgeridoo. I thought to myself… “That’s Ab-original”

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, can you drive this thing?

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, can you drive this thing?

Q.What do you call a lion who never tells the truth? A.The lyin’ king

How many words are in the Webster’s dictionary?? Two!!

What did the tonsil say to the other tonsil? Get dressed the doctor is taken us out tonight

Q: A butcher is 5 foot 2 inch what does he weigh? A: meat

Why did the tiger always lose relay races because the other guy was a terrible cheetah

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path

How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it

Man walks into a bar – ouch!

They used to say that the day that America elects a black president will be the day that pigs fly …. a few months into Obama’s term of office … swine flu!

Husband asks wife, “How many men have you slept with?” Wife proudly replies,  “Only you Darling – With all the others, I stayed awake.”


How can you find the blind man in the nudist colony?  It’s not hard.

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One Response to “Short TXT Jokes”

  • haha , these jokes aint even funny – im laughing at the fact that you guys think they are when in reality they aint. make up some new jokes please .

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Sorry for the quiz, please do some simple math to prove you are funny *