Slay.me

A Blonde drops off a blouse at the cleaners and heads for the door.

The Asian lady behind the counter thanks her, and says

“Come Again”..

The Blonde says

“No, it’s toothpaste this time you nosey bitch!!!!”

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even  her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would  be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ”Absolutely not! I look like a  million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ”Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could  wear it.”Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear…..I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night  before the wedding.”

10th – “Scattered f***ing showers, my ass!” – Noah, 4314 BC

9th – “How the f***did you work that out?” – Pythagoras, 126 BC

8th -“You want WHAT on the f***ing ceiling?” – Michelangelo, 1566

7th – “Where did all those f***ing Indians come from?” – Custer, 1877

6th – “It does so f***ing look like her!” – Picasso, 1926

5th – “Where the f*** are we?” – Amelia Earhart, 1937

4th – “Any f***ing idiot could understand that.” – Einstein, 1938

3rd – “What the f***was that?” – Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945

2nd – “I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in the head!” – JFK,   1963

AND ….  drumroll please ….
The Number 1 most appropriate time for using the “F” word ……

“Aw c’mon. Who the f*** is gonna find out?” – Tiger Woods, 2009