Slay.me

Four guys have been going on the same golf trip for many years.

This year, Ralph’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. And thus he calls his buddies and tells them the bad news.

Two days later, the other guys arrive at the resort to begin their yearly golf getaway. And of all things, they find Ralph sitting there with his clubs already set up on his cart.

“Dang Ralphie boy, how did you talk your missus into letting you go?”

“Well, yesterday evening, after my wife finished reading “Fifty Shades Of Gray,” she pulled me into our bedroom. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.”

Then she said, “Do whatever you want.”

“So, here I am!”

A man goes  into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very  attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take  all of his clothes off.

When he is fully undressed she  instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then  takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with  him.

Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath  and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that  studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an  ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for  the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer,  more efficient and quicker.

The nurse then  wheels the patient  to the operating room.

While they are going down the hall the  patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room  masturbating.

Curious, the  man asks,” What are they doing in there”?

The nurse responds,  “They’re preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross, and  they have Obama Care.”

Here is a great Turkey Recipe for those of you who just can’t tell when a  turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

Turkey Recipe

• 8 – 15 lb. turkey
• 1 cup melted butter
• 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good)
• 1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER’S LOW FAT IS BEST)
• Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.

Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back.

After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.

When the turkey’s butt blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room it’s done.