Slay.me

An Engineer, Physicist, and Mathematician are each given 100 feet of fence and asked to enclose the largest area possible with it.

The engineer quickly says, “I’ve got it!” and builds a 25 by 25 foot square.

The physicist looks it over, then says, “that’s pretty good, but I think I can do a little better.”  He then arranges the fence in a circle with a circumference of 100 feet.

The mathematician then looks at the square, looks at the circle, and after a moment of thought takes a small section of fence, wraps it around himself, and declares, “I define myself to be the outside!”

The Air Canada plane leaves  Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.

It’s the first time they’ve flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,

‘I don’t like Chinese..’

‘No rike Chinese?’ asks the co-pilot, ‘why not?’

‘You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that’s why!’

‘No, no’, the co-pilot protests, ‘Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.’

‘Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese….doesn’t matter, you’re all alike!’

There’s a few minutes of silence.

‘I no rike Jews!’ the co-pilot suddenly announces.

‘Oh yeah, why not?’ asks the captain.

‘Jews sink Titanic!’ says the co-pilot.

‘What? You’re insane! Jews didn’t sink the Titanic!’ exclaims the captain, ‘It was an iceberg!’

Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ..no mattah…all fukin same

your mum so old her breast milk is powder

By: liam