Slay.me

Old guys just want to be helpful.

I was in Lowe’s the other day pushing my cart around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart.

I said to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The young guy says, “That’s OK. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

I said, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?”

The young guy says, “Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blond hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she’s wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra.  What does your wife look like?”

I said, “Doesn’t matter — let’s look for yours.”

Most of us old guys are helpful like that.

Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time.

She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with other seniors.

I did this and when I got home last night I t old her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said “Are you nuts?

You’re almost 75 years old and you’re going to start jumping out of airplanes?”

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, “Where are your glasses!

This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!”

I’m in trouble again and don’t know what to do!

I signed up for five jumps a week!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.