Archive for the ‘Doctor Jokes’ Category

26
Nov

A man goes  into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very  attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take  all of his clothes off.

When he is fully undressed she  instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then  takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with  him.

Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath  and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that  studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an  ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for  the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer,  more efficient and quicker.

The nurse then  wheels the patient  to the operating room.

While they are going down the hall the  patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room  masturbating.

Curious, the  man asks,” What are they doing in there”?

The nurse responds,  “They’re preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross, and  they have Obama Care.”

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11
Jul

The Golfer and the Dentist

A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.

The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:30 already… I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!’

The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.” So the dentist asks him, “Which tooth is it sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth Honey, and show him……..”

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11
Jan

Cough Syrup

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall.

The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”

The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough.

I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”

The owner says, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”

The clerk says, “Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”

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