Archive for the ‘Santa Clause Jokes’ Category


Twas the Night before a Shitty Christmas

shitty-santaTwas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
everyone felt shitty
even the mouse,

Mom at the whorehouse
and dad smoking grass
I’d just settled down
for a nice piece of ass,

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my peice
to see what was the matter,

Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
it must be St. Nick,

He came down the chimney
like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
the fucker had fell,

He filled all our stockings
with pretzels and beer
and a big rubber dick
for my brother,the queer,

He rose up the chimney
with a thunerous fart
the son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart,

He swore and he cursed
as he rode out of sight
Piss on you all
and have a hell of a night!

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