Slay.me

We have no idea what he sees in her!

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny,  silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, ‘What is this Father?’

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ‘Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.’

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old  lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a  button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a  small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son…..

‘Go get your Mother’

A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery was staring at a portrait that had them totally confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the men had black penises, but the one seated in the middle, had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized the confused couple   were having trouble with interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on and on explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a predominantly white, patriarchal society. “In fact”, he pointed out, “some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression expressed by gay men in a contemporary society”.

After the curator left, an Irish man approached the couple   and said, “Would you like to know what the painting is really about?”

“Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the Gallery?”, asked the couple.

“Because I’m the guy who painted it,” he replied. “In fact, there is no African-American representation at all. They’re just three Irish coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.”