The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head”.
Yep”, he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin it here, cause it says ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage’.
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, ‘Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!’
Bubba replied, ‘Did you see who it was?’
The young man answered,‘I couldn’t tell, but I got his license number.’
Tommy was a crotchety old fellow who always took breakfast with his wife. He would read the morning paper while she fumed at his neglect, and today of all days because it was their 25th wedding anniversary.
“Tommy!! Tommy!! Put down that paper and let’s talk about how we are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary today. What do you suggest?”
Tommy put his newspaper down, removed and polished his glasses, stared for a moment into the distance, then said, “How about two minutes of silence?”