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Here is a great Turkey Recipe for those of you who just can’t tell when a  turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

Turkey Recipe

• 8 – 15 lb. turkey
• 1 cup melted butter
• 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good)
• 1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER’S LOW FAT IS BEST)
• Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.

Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back.

After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.

When the turkey’s butt blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room it’s done.

Some A-hole looked at my beer belly in the pub last night
and  sarcastically asked,
“Is that Budweiser or Pabst Blue Ribbon?”
I said,  “There’s a tap underneath, taste it.”

***

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, “If you lost a  few pounds, got a shave,
and got your hair cut, you’d look pretty  good.”
I said, “If I did that, I’d be over there talking to your friends.”

***

I went to the pub last night, had a shot of Ezra Brooks
and saw a fat  chick dancing on a table.
I said to her, “Nice legs.”
The girl giggled  and said with a smile, “Do you really think so.”
I said “Definitely, most  tables would have collapsed by now. ”

***

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a
woman was born just by feeling their breasts.
“Really” she said, “Go on  then…  try.”
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose  patience.
“Come on, what day was I born”?
I said, “Yesterday.”

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.

submitted by: A. Blatchford