Slay.me

Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods.

He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off and Ole took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin.

Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his doctor, Sven. “Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Da good news is dat you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot.”

“What’s the bad news?”, asks Ole

“The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ..”

“Well, I guess that isn’t too bad,” says Ole. “Is your sister a plastic surgeon?”

“Not exactly,” Sven says. “She’s a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra.

And because all you have is Obamacare, She’s going to teach you vhere to put your fingers, so you don’t pee in your eye.”

A man goes  into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very  attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take  all of his clothes off.

When he is fully undressed she  instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then  takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with  him.

Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath  and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that  studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an  ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for  the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer,  more efficient and quicker.

The nurse then  wheels the patient  to the operating room.

While they are going down the hall the  patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room  masturbating.

Curious, the  man asks,” What are they doing in there”?

The nurse responds,  “They’re preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross, and  they have Obama Care.”