Archive for the ‘Sex Jokes’ Category

04
Nov

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked,

“Is it still requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?’

The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.”

The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”

To which the rabbi replied,

“Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.”

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest,

“Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”

The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”

The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”

The priest replied, “Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith.”

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said,

“Beats the shit out of a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”

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24
Oct

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, ‘I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!’

‘IMPOSSIBLE !’ said the groom broom.

‘WE HAVEN’T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!’

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21
Oct

Yesterday “Wife” asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time.

She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.

I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said “Are you nuts?

You’re almost 80 years old and you’re going to start jumping out of airplanes?”

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, “You dummy, where are your glasses!

This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!”

I’m in trouble again and don’t know what to do!

I signed up for five jumps a week!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.

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