Slay.me

On their wedding night, the young bride Approached her new husband and asked For $20.00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that She needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.  During the next few minutes, he explained that His employer was going through a process of corporate Downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he’d be able to find Another position that paid anywhere near what He’d been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued By the bank which were worth over $2 million, And informed him that they Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than Three decades she had ‘charged’ him for sex, These holdings had multiplied and these were the Results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,

‘If I’d had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!’

That’s when she shot him.

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Roger, Again he is ready for more ‘action’. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ‘I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.

You are truly a great lover, Roger.’

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: ‘You mean I was here already?’

The moral of the story:
Don’t be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer’s has its advantages.

An elderly lady decided to give  herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in  one of London’s most expensive hotels.
When she checked out next morning,  the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.

She exploded and demanded to know  why the charge was so high. “It’s a nice hotel but the rooms certainly  aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stop  without even breakfast.”
The clerk told her that  $250.00  is the ‘standard rate’ so she insisted on speaking to the  Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned  by the desk clerk announced: “The hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a  huge conference center which are available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them,” she said.

“Well, they are here, and  you could have,” explained the  Manager.

He went on to explain that she  could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is  famous. “We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow, and  Aberdeen performing here,” the Manager said.

“But I didn’t go to any  of those shows,” she said.

“Well, we have them, and you could  have,” the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager  mentioned, she replied, “But I didn’t use  it!”

The Manager was unmoved, so she  decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.

The  Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.  “But madam,  this check is only made out for $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged  you $200.00 for sleeping with me,” she  replied.

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the very  surprised Manager..

“Well, too bad, I was here, and you  could have.”