Slay.me

Happy Thanksgiving!  Here are some good Thanksgiving Jokes to share with your family and friends:

1.  Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? – The outside

2.  Why did they let the turkey join the band? – Because he had the drumsticks

3.  Why did the police arrest the turkey?  They suspected it of fowl play

4.  What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I’m stuffed!

5.  What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? – He had an arrow escape

And finally…

Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn’t sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep
The leftovers beckoned — The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So I raced to the kitchen, Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground !!

I crashed through the ceiling. Floating into the sky….
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees …

HAPPY EATING TO ALL !!

PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE !!

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?” When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour.” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

“Jesus Christ!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your ass!”

… the teacher fainted!

Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent.

Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamppost below.

Quickly, she wrote, “Don’t despair. Sister Barbara,” on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man’s attention and tossed it out the window to him The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a nod of his head, went off down the street.

The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her.. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“That’s the $8,000 you have coming, Sister,” he replied.

“Don’t Despair paid 80-to-1.”