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Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee after  mass.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop.  When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”

The third Catholic man says, “My son is a Cardinal.  When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”

The fourth Catholic man says, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men gave her a look and said, “Well….?”

She proudly replies, “I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38 Double D breasts, 24″ waist, and 34” hips.  When she walks into a room,  people say,  “Oh My God.”

1st woman :     Hi! My name is Wanda

2nd woman :    Hi! I’m Kelly. How’d you die?

1st woman :     I froze to Death.

2nd woman :    How horrible!

1st woman :     It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I  began to get warm & sleepy and finally died a peaceful death.  What about you?

2nd woman :    I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating so I came home early to catch him in the act.  Instead, I found him all by himself  in the den watching TV.

1st woman:      So, what happened?

2nd woman :    I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.  I ran into the attic and searched and down into the basement.  Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.  I kept this up until I had looked everywhere and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman:      Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive.

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answered, “God  made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..”

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..
The father answered, “Many years ago  there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”

The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”