Archive for the ‘Joke of the Day’ Category

28
Jan

Slay.me Joke of the DayAt the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.  He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society. ‘In fact’, he pointed out, ‘some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society’.

After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, ‘Would you like to know what the painting is really about?’

‘Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery’, asked the couple?

‘Because I am the artist, who painted the picture,’ he replied. ‘In fact, there are  no African Americans depicted at all.  They’re just three Irish coal miners.  The guy in the middle went home for lunch.’

18
Nov

The Lottery

Slay.me Joke of the DayAt breakfast, the husband asked his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?”

She replied, “I’d take half and leave you.”

“Great,” he said. “Here’s $6. I won $12 yesterday! Stay in touch!”

, ,

02
Nov

Halloween Coffin Joke

pumpkin pieA Scary Halloween Tale:

A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP…

BUMPITY…

BUMP…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP . . .

BUMPITY . . .

BUMP . . .

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER . . .

FASTER . . .

BUMP . . .

BUMPITY . . .

BUMP . . .

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,  opens the door,  rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.

clappity – BUMP . . .

clappity – BUMPITY . . .

clappity – BUMP . . .

on his heels, as the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in.

His heart is pounding;

his head is reeling;

his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

WITH A LOUD CRASH

THE CASKET BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something,

anything,

but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

In desperation, he throws the cough syrup at the casket . .

AND,

AND,

(hopefully you’re ready for this!!!)

The coffin STOPS!

, ,