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There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.

Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.

Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects.

Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the next Pope.

In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.

The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!

Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy’s gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.

With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked: “Why Timothy?”

After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply.

“We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called…Pope Secola.”

Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went  by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that  his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a  week.

So Farmer John called the local police station to complain,  “You’ve got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing  all my chickens,” he said to the local police officer.

“What do you  want me to do?” asked the policeman.

“I don’t care, just do something  about those crazy drivers!”

So the next day the policeman had the Council erect a sign that said:

SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the  policeman and said, “You’ve still got to do something about these drivers. The  school crossing’ sign seems to make them go even faster!”

So again, they put up a new  sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and said, “Your  signs are no good Can I put up my own  sign?”

In order to get him off his back the policeman said, “Sure. Put up  your own sign.”

The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got the better of the Officer, so he called Farmer John

“How is the problem with the speeding drivers? Did you put up your sign?”

“Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been  killed.”

The policeman was really curious and thought he’d better go out and take a look at the sign. He also thought the sign might be something the Police could use elsewhere, to slow drivers  down..

So he drove out to Farmer John’s  house.

His jaw dropped the moment he saw the  sign.

‘NUDIST COLONY’

‘Slow down and watch out for chicks!