22
Aug

The Dead Parrot


Slay.me Joke of the DayAt dawn the telephone rings,

“Hello, Señor Rod? This  is Ernesto, the caretaker  at your country house.”

“Ah  yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”

“Um, I  am just calling to advise you, Señor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead”

“My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”

“Si, Señor, that’s the one.”

“Damn!

That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he  die from?”

“From eating the rotten meat, Señor Rod.”

“Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”

“Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”

“Dead horse? What dead horse?”

“The thoroughbred, Señor Rod.”

“My prize thoroughbred is dead?”

“Yes Señor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the  water cart.”

“Are you insane?? What water cart?”

“The one we used to put out the fire, Señor.”

“Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??”

“The one at your house, Señor! A candle  fell and the curtains caught on fire.”

“What the hell?? Are you  saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!”

“Yes, Señor Rod..”

“But there’s electricity at the house!!  What was the candle for?”

“For the funeral, Señor Rod.”

“WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!”

“Your wife’s, Señor Rod”, she  showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit  her with your new tailor made Super Quad 460 golf club.”

SILENCE . . . . . . .. . .LONG SILENCE . . . . . ..

“Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in deep shit!”

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21
Aug

Two Shikses for One Night


Slay.me Joke of the DayA Jewish guy in a London Hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken  English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for the number  “266419”.

A short time later there is a knock at the door, and, when he  opens the door, he sees two beautiful and sexy girls, who ask him:  “Are you the guy who ordered: “two shikses for one night?””

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21
Aug

Johnny Carson and Dom DeLuise’s Egg Trick


This is a very funny moment in television history.  Dom DeLuise show’s Johnny his famous egg trick!  Watch to see what happens!

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