Slay.me

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.  He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards.”

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, ”

This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?”

“No,” the cook said. “Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of  headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.”

“Oh, OK!” said the blonde.  She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?”

She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!”

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,

‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from   San Francisco  to   New York City  ?’

The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’

‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter,

“Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a verydeep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,  “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only
fair, considering that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blond girl.

3.I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”