Slay.me

DIARY: DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship — all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.

DIARY: DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.

DIARY: DAY 3

At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

DIARY:DAY 4

Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the nigh t but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

DIARY: DAY 5

Pool again today, got sunburned, and went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me if I did not let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was shocked.

DIARY: DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.
Twice.

In testifying before the Judge in a rape case, the complaining witness, a Blonde Prostitute was asked

by the Judge.  “When did it occur to you that the defendant raped you versus his claim of consensual sex?

The Blonde replied ” when his check bounced.”

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm . He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did too, but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Bob took the money…