Slay.me

Maude and John, both 81, lived in The Villages, in Florida.

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other’s company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, John asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.  They had a lovely evening.  They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.

Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink.  Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined John for a most enjoyable roll in the sack.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they’d shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts …

John was thinking: ‘If I’d known she was a virgin, I’d have been gentler.’

Maude was thinking: ‘If I’d known he could still do it, I would have taken off my pantyhose.’

A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art.. It’s perfect.’

‘Really,’ answered the neighbor . ‘What kind is it?’

‘Twelve thirty..’

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During acheckup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.

‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’

‘Sure…’

‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she asks.

‘No, I can remember it.’

‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?’

He says, ‘I can remember that.. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’

‘I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?’ she asks.

Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness sake!’
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.

‘Where’s my toast ?’