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I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
The nurse started with certain basics.

“How much do you weigh?” she asked.
“135,” I replied..

It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked: “Your height?”
“5 feet, 6 inches,” I answered.

The nurse checked and saw that
I only measure 5 feet, 3 inches.

She then took my blood pressure
and told me that it’s very high.

“Of course it’s high!” I screamed.
“When I came in here
I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”

She put me on Prozac..

What a bitch!

This is comedian Billy Eichner’s version of Jay Z’s hit song Empire State of Mind. Featuring the hilarious Rachel Dratch (Saturday Night Live) as Alicia Keys!

Welcome to the first Slay.me Funny Caption Contest! The person who comments to this post with the funniest caption for this picture (as decided exclusively by the Slay.me Judges) will win a Slay.me T-Shirt from the Slay.me Store!  In order to qualify you must submit your caption below by 1/31/10.

Please submit your funniest caption to the following Photo:

The Winner was Jacob with:

“If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your erectrician!”

Congratulations!