Archive for the ‘Baby Jokes’ Category

02
Jun

Ugly Baby Joke

Slay.me Joke of the DayA woman gets on the bus with her baby and the driver says “Blimey!…that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

 

The woman bursts out crying and goes to the rear of the bus to sit down.She blubs to the man next to her “The driver just insulted me”

 

The man says “You go back up there and give him a real good telling off…..go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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23
May

Little Johnny and Baby No-Ears

baby-noearsLittle Johnny’s neighbour had a baby.

 

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

 

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.

 

Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

 

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

 

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

 

When Johnny looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.”

 

The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnny.

 

Johnny said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?”

 

“Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.”

 

“That’s great”, said Little Johnny,”coz he’d be fucked if he needed glasses”.